1984

I’m more than a little embarrassed to admit that I’m 39 and have only just got round to reading this. It’s my second Orwell read – Animal Farm was my first – and although I found Animal Farm a striking and thought-provoking book, 1984 proved a far deeper dive, affecting me to the core. I could see myself in this book.

To me, the theme of 1984 is what Tracy Chapman sings about in All That You Have is Your Soul, or what Oscar Wilde meant when he wrote “shallowness is the supreme vice”. It's in a million different forms, all over the place - books, songs, poems, epigrams. It's spelled out quite nicely in the e.e cummings quote a few entries below this one.

Contrary to what I'd heard prior to reading the book, I don't think that 1984 is simply a warning about fascism or communism – that’s Animal Farm. To me, 1984 implores you to hold on to what makes you human. It has been my experience as a typical working person in the U.S. that every day I am constantly encouraged to adhere to the same beliefs as everyone else, to like what everyone else likes, to talk about what everyone else talks about, and to do what everyone else does. To fight this constant environmental stimulus is to invite sarcasm, skepticism and ultimately ostracism. Every day we have a choice - remain true to our own beliefs and principles, or adhere to those of those who surround us. If you're lucky, those around you may adhere to your core beliefs anyway, but in the working world, we often don't get that luxury.

Discussion of the battle to retain our individuality and our human-ness is nothing new - as I said earlier, it's all over books, music, etc. - but 1984 drove it home to me quite forcefully.

Spin The Black Circle

After spending the last few weeks recovering from a storm which deposited nearly an inch of ice on this area of the U.S. (and which pulled down thousands of trees and power lines, leaving us without power for eight days in freezing temperatures and depositing countless snapped branches in my yard/on my house), it was good to spend a recent night listening to music and recounting some old memories with my kids.

The catalyst was a turntable. We decided to re-do my twin sons’ room – nothing major, just re-bunking their beds & rearranging furniture – but the resulting extra space in their room prompted me to dig out my old turntable and hook it up to their stereo. They already had a portable, suitcase-type turntable, but this one’s a vast improvement.

The comeback of vinyl is a very cool development. Radiohead’s In Rainbows sold nearly 30,000 copies on vinyl last year – this in the age of iPods, mp3’s and CD’s. I’m no Luddite, but I will always cherish my memories of poring over album artwork and lyric sheets while listening to my vinyl records. I was much more engaged in the process than I am now, listening to my iPod while doing a thousand other things. My sons Nick & Sam began collecting vinyl about a year ago, focusing on some of their favorite bands, including the Germs, NOFX, Sex Pistols, Bad Brains and Radiohead.

So this weekend I not only blew the dust off the old turntable, but I showed Nick my old record collection and we picked out a few for a listen / trip down memory lane. Now Nick is 14 and not particularly inclined to lay back and listen to the Who or some of the others whose music I hold dear, instead being drawn to the harder edge of my collection. These albums date back to my high school days. He grabbed a couple of Anthrax LP’s, Iron Maiden’s Powerslave and Dio’s Holy Diver, and I upsold him on Judas Priest’s Sad Wings of Destiny. He wouldn’t bite on any Deep Purple or Thin Lizzy. Maybe next time. My original copy of Quadrophenia, too, can wait.

It’s been over twenty years since I listened to some of this stuff. The boys knew Holy Diver from the Killswitch Engage cover a few years back – which I admit is pretty good, having heard the recording and then a live rendition at the Warped Tour – so they wanted to hear that first. After being transported back to high school by the first couple of Dio songs, I was espousing the virtues of Vivian Campbell’s guitar mastery, and Ronnie James Dio’s powerful pipes. I regaled them with stories of the ridiculous stage set (which featured lightning, flamethrowers and a large pyramid/drum riser) on the Last In Line tour back in ’85… I think. I also impressed them (they acted impressed) with my story of meeting Vinny Appice backstage once. They’ve probably heard that about 30 times now. (For the record, even back then at the age of 17 I was constantly preoccupied with the Who. I asked Appice what he thought of Keith Moon. He told me he was a big fan, and to listen to the end of… I think it was Dio’s Don’t Talk To Strangers… he plays a Moon tribute there, and indeed I remember listening to it at the time and agreeing that there were some appropriately Moon-like fills)

Next up was Anthrax, whose Among the Living was another favorite of mine back in high school. I’m not denying, however, that I didn’t still enjoy a run-through of the LP this night. Nick, a drummer, was instantly drawn to Charlie Benante’s fast feet, but had a hard time stomaching Joey Belladonna’s falsetto.

So it was a cool night of bonding with the kids and taking a trip down memory lane. We stayed up too late but bid each other good night with wide smiles and a mutual appreciation of the power of music. Music was my refuge back in those days, and I guess to some extent it still is, whether it be delivered via iPod, radio or CD. But that crackle as the needle hits the groove – what a sound!

I need to read more e e cummings...

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.

When I saw those photos of Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey at the Kennedy Center Honors a few weeks back, I couldn’t help but think how uncomfortable Pete looked in his formal wear. I wondered if he really wanted to be there at all. I didn’t question his appreciation for receiving the honor, but I just wondered if he approached appearing at this event as he has sometimes approached touring with the Who – “This is boring – I’d rather be at home!”

He and Daltrey certainly enjoyed the musical tribute to Morgan Freeman, with back to back appearances by Blues legends Koko Taylor and B.B. King bringing wide grins to the faces of these American blues aficionados. Townshend gleefully participated in King’s ‘let the good times roll’ call-and-response, cupping his hands while yelling the chorus.

The Who tribute started off with Jack Black setting a suitably silly but reverent tone before Joss Stone kicked off the music with My Generation. This and the ensuing Dave Grohl-led Who Are You, both frustratingly abbreviated takes on the originals, brought smiles and waves from Daltrey and Townshend.

The tone shifted significantly for the next act though, as singer Bettye Lavette delivered a stunning, emotional take on Love, Reign O’er Me which left Townshend visibly moved, emphatically mouthing “wonderful, wonderful” to Lavette as she took a bow. The camera work during the song was priceless, showing Townshend transfixed as he alternately nodded and shook his head, lost in Lavette’s interpretation of his work.

When Rob Thomas sang the first words of Baba O’Riley, the emotional edge established by Lavette’s performance appeared to dissipate, but not for long. The ‘teenage wasteland’ chorus was abetted by a sizeable contingent of New York firefighters and police officers, a powerful tribute to the Who’s triumphant appearance at the Concert For 9/11. Townshend and Daltrey were again floored, Daltrey grinning widely while Townshend warmly patted his chest before raising his hand in salute.

Did Pete want to be there? I have no idea, but I know I (cynical to a fault) was distinctly underwhelmed when I heard that he and Daltrey would be honored at this event. I didn’t expect to find anything particularly emotionally moving when I tuned in to watch this event a few nights ago. I certainly didn’t expect to feel tears welling up in my eyes when witnessing Pete’s reaction to Bettye Lavette’s incredible performance, or when watching his response as the backdrop rose during Baba O’Riley to reveal several dozen of New York’s finest.

The emotion I’m left with? Pride. I’m proud of him. He’s my fucking hero.

Feeling Good (Newley/Bricusse, 1965)

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea
You know how I feel
River running free
You know how I feel
Blossom on the tree
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Dragonfly out in the sun
You know what I mean
Butterflies all having fun
You know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That's what I mean
And this old world
Is a new world
And a bold world
For me

Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Scent of the pine
You know how I feel
Freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me

I'm feeling good.